1.3. The Future?
(5/13/09)

 

1. So anyway, I need (or at least, desire) to decide what to do about Jesus.
2. In order to do that, I need to gather up and effectively verbalize, and organize, enough of the relevant information.
3. Then, it seems to me that my particular key, in deciding what to do (or, try to do) about Jesus, is my personal position re the Messiahship of Jesus. In order to "entrust my life" to Jesus, or "surrender" to him, I -- first of all -- need to believe that Jesus was the prophesied Jewish Messiah.
4. If Jesus was, in fact, the prophesied Jewish Messiah, I (we all) probably should be trying to surrender to him -- or, surrender to G-d, through him…
5. So, in other words, the “relevant” information I’m trying to gather and weigh in this court is any information bearing upon whether or not Jesus was the prophesied Jewish Messiah.

6. Now, I know that many people can surrender to Jesus without having much evidence as to his actual credentials.
7. And while I can envy such people (According to the New Testament, Jesus says they are “blessed.”), I am clearly not one of them. At best, I am a natural “doubting Thomas.”
8. And, though deciding that Jesus was the prophesied Jewish Messiah may not be sufficient in order to allow for my entrance into the mental state necessary for actually surrendering to him, it may be.
9. And then,
9.1. I doubt that I can take this real neurological step of surrendering to Jesus without either being "broken," or being pretty darned sure that Jesus was the prophesied Messiah. And then,
9.2. It sort of goes without saying that if it takes one or the other, I'd much prefer the other (the latter). And then,
9.3. It's sort of like G-d wants me to beat Him (G-d) to the punch... And then,
9.4. I'd like to comply...

10. Now if you think about it, what all this means is that I have already come to the conclusion that between the probability that "taking Jesus as my Savior" is what I’m “supposed to do,” and the importance of doing what I’m supposed to do, are sufficiently strong to warrant a very serious, dedicated and time-consuming effort to evaluate the claim that taking Jesus as my Savior is what I’m supposed to do…
11. (You might want to read that again.)
12. If you think more about it, what all this suggests is that I have already come to the conclusion that the evidence for Jesus being the prophesied Jewish Messiah is significant – whatever that means exactly…
13. Which is true, but requires a few more caveats.

14. One point that bears a lot of mention here is that I want the evidence to be significant (and more). In other words, I am biased.
15. I want the evidence to be strong enough to allow me to "take Jesus as my Savior."
16. In truth, I want that in part because my Mom and others want me to.
17. In addition, I would like Mom and the others to be basically right in their beliefs.
18. In addition, I think That Lauren (my wife) and I need a belief system like that (link to poem, 5/13/09).

19. And then, I must say that I like Jesus.
20. It seems to me that over my studies I’ve developed something of what Christians call a “personal relationship” with him -- with the Jesus idea/concept/story.
21. For me, at this point, Jesus is almost "alive."
22. For me, Jesus is like a real “imaginary friend”…

23. And finally, I’m so committed and focused at this point because these are, in fact, our "declining years" (Lauren’s and mine), and I feel the need to get somewhere with this in a hurry… If this is what we’re supposed to do, we had best get started.
24. And, being anywhere near objective may not be possible…
25. But then, what're ya gonna do?

27. But then, what about other existing belief systems?
28. Well, I have, in fact, “looked into” Buddhism, Taoism and other Eastern philosophies, as well as Judaism, Islam and Mormonism for what we are supposed to do, and so far, for various reasons (those immediately above being some of them), I find Jesus to be my most compelling target.
29. But most of all, as compared to the other “races,” I'm clearly off and running in the Jesus race – whereas for the others, I’m still in the gate.
30. And again, I don’t have much time.

31. Unfortunately, one important factor in all of this that I have hardly mentioned so far is that Lauren is Jewish… (Much more about that later.)

32. But anyway, I had been focusing on this issue for several years, when I began to realize that I wasn’t really getting anywhere – not in any obvious sense.
33. While I had gathered up a lot of evidence and logic regarding the Messiahship of Jesus -- and the evidence did seem largely supportive -- it didn’t seem to be “adding up,” or leading anywhere...
34. (What I try to say in the following may not be conveyable, or even correct, but it does involve my best guesses as to what the problem has been and what I should do about it.)


35. My earliest, analytic objections to the Jesus c/s seem to have sort of "hardened into place;" my very latest analytic (and supportive) evidence of the Jesus c/s still seem "fresh" and "solid;" but then, my "interim" (and supportive) evidence seems "withered" and "impotent."
36. So in effect, as I add new supportive evidence to the scale, my older supportive evidence keeps falling off. And, when I take a new "look inside myself," my belief seems no "heavier" than before...

37. It seems that
37.1. My earliest objections must have established themselves during a natural "critical period," have consequently, naturally, hardened into place, and are now permanent fixtures on my subconscious, internal scale -- snickering at my continued, wimpish, efforts.
37.2. Whereas my later evidence -- outside any critical period -- has not hardened into place, and keeps falling -- or getting pushed -- off.
37.3. And then, it is this subconscious, internal scale that I run into when I start "looking inside myself."
37.4. So, somehow, I need to find a better way to keep my "interim evidence" on this particular scale.

38. My hope, and to some extent belief, is that I can better keep the interim evidence on the scale by developing better sound bites and better organization. I'm thinking that effective sound bites and organization will sort of "tie it all down"...

39. And finally, it seems to me that a possible explanation for any new "staying power" resulting from such organizing and abbreviating, is that doing so strengthens the right hemisphere version of the evidence. (See 4.1.2.1.2. beginning at #6.)

40. So anyway, my immediate purpose for this website is to carefully gather, verbalize and organize the evidence relevant to whether or not Jesus was the prophesied Jewish Messiah.
41. Which hopefully, will allow me to effectively synthesize and evaluate that evidence, and come to something of a concensus – one way or (hopefully not) the other.
42. And, I’m trying to do that, so that I can best try to take Jesus as my Savior – if that’s what I’m supposed to do…
43. But then hopefully, an eventual purpose for my website will be to attract and recruit help.
44. And then hopefully, a third purpose will be for sharing the valuable insights that I will surely (perhaps) develop.

45. In regards to my need for help,
46. Clearly, I could use a lot of feedback.
47. Also, the number of issues that could use careful consideration approach infinity -- and I could surely use a lot of help in addressing and expressing them.
48. And finally, I could use help in the form of “opponents” for arguing the other side(s)…

49. I need to hear “both” sides of this whole story.
50. I will do my best to express my own reservations.
51. But, that can go only so far.

52. And besides, I’ve developed a "device" for written debate that I believe can make for actually-effective debate between opposing sides, and can be applied quite profitably to our situation here. That's what I think.
53. Though, I can’t seem to convince anyone else.
54. I’m thinking that by using this device, we can all best evaluate the evidence…

55. Basically, my format is a “takeoff” of the U.S. courtroom format, and ideally, we’ll reopen the case for (or against?) Jesus and be able to present and judge it objectively and effectively.
56. That’s the idea.

57. One problem in wanting to share this with others is that there are 3 different types of others with which I would like to share -- and, at least two of these types require different approaches.
58. I need to assure the skeptics that I recognize the apparent, and galling, foolishness of the Jesus concept/story.
59. At the same time, I need to assure the believers that I recognize that “grace” and “faith” might actually trump evidence – which I do recognize. (I think that there are two different ways of looking at the world, and one of these – a right hemisphere, holistic, way – can appreciate the ascendency of grace and faith. See #39, above.)
60. And then, there are the searchers. But then in truth, the searchers just need to feel that I am being even-handed, and should be satisfied so long as I accomplish my first two objectives…
61. I might be ready.

62. I hope you got all that.

(The Device)